#''wait until you reach the pen scene!!'' lol what would be sad about a pen

[anguishmacgyver]

[lovelybarnes]

saudade- l. laufeyson

pairings: loki laufeyson x reader, mentions of other loki characters warnings: loki tv show spoilers, probably tva inaccuracies, mobius being trusted even though i don’t actually trust him lol, mentions of death, tears, a little sad angst but happy ending, ooc characters?? possible mistakes because i can't read this again skjfj about: requested, DF26 with TVA Loki running into the variant of his dead spouse a/n: thank you so much for requesting! i loved writing the last scene so much

loki has narrowly avoided the tva for years, opportunities much better than this and chaos a lot more chaotic than this have already been caused and passed. so the how and why he has been taken in at this very moment- while he’s eating at one of those fast food places you used to like- is very, very unknown to him. he should know, however; you’ve explained to him the tired concept of time traveling many times before, although the most important things were told to him when he thought you a mere mortal like the rest- something you were not- and could not possibly know something he didn’t- also something very untrue.

but the reasoning for his capturing is not at the front of his mind- although close- his main objective staying on how to get out of this unknown place and go back to looking for you- whether the fragile fabrics of reality and string of the timeline fray and break or don’t. he knows it possible, having seen the avengers do something similar, so why can a god like him not?

he’s ripped many holes, and he supposes the consequences for them are finally catching up to him, a lot sooner than he’d like. in another world, he’d already have you, and, with you by his side, you both would’ve been out long before, or never captured at all. although, he supposes, in a perfect world, you never would have been taken away from him in the first place.

he knows stopping for food he didn’t even necessarily need- or, really, like- was not a smart decision. he’s realizing exactly how not-smart of a decision it was with every passing second that the fools in armor drag him along the halls. the stop wasn’t needed, much less planned, but the memories the greasy food and dirty restaurant brought were too pleasant- a break full of you in the nonstop mission to find you. he could nearly feel your fingers touching his, hear your voice urging him to at least try and your bubbled laugh when he cringes. the fizz of the soda had made him grimace like the first time, except there was no you to giggle at it.

loki nearly thinks it was worth it. nearly.

when the guard shoves him into another room, loki takes a second to examine the exits, barely noticing the man at the desk. the person next to him pushes him further, dropping the tesseract and various stolen pym particles on the desk. loki takes note of where the man puts them so he can steal them back.

the guard stops with him in front of a small elevator, pulling a lever and waiting. loki looks at them, “where am i? get me back right now, i have things i must attend to.” the guard only looks at him, and loki scoffs, “i am loki of asgard, god of mischief and trickery, believe me when i say there will be deadly consequences if you do not do what i ask.”

the guard huffs a small laugh, “i’ve heard that before. we’ll see.”

the doors in front of him part, opening to a room he’s rammed into. he looks back the guard, one foot already out when he’s suddenly back where he was, watching as the entrance closes. he senses the machine before he can have a good look at it, a claw that he’s seen too many variations of beginning to poke at the fabric on his shoulders. he swats it away, standing tall as he glares at the smiling machine. “absolutely not! this is high tech armor, only few of this exists.”

the tech on the machine turns the grin into a frown, pulling back the talons and instead extending another apparatus that scans at his clothing, removing them with a yellow glow until he’s completely bare. he looks down at himself before looking back up at the face, pointing a finger, “now what-”

his words are cut off when he falls through the opening ground, falling onto the bottom room, now dressed in an uncomfortable tan jumpsuit, orange letters reading TVA on the left breast. a bored man in front of him pushes a pile of papers to him, “please sign to verify this is everything you’ve ever said.”

loki ignores his words, pushing it back, “i need to find someone, stop the absurdity.” the man only blinks as a machine whirrs, printing a piece of paper he reaches over to take and place on top of the pile. he hands loki a pen, “sign that too.” loki frowns, “did you not hear me? i have important things to do.” the machine does it again, and the man repeats his motions and shakes the pen in his hand. “that, too.” the god only sighs in frustration and signs, slamming the pen down before he’s dropped again.

another man greets him in a monotone, not even looking at him while he reads off the clipboard in his hands, “please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul.” loki’s eyebrows furrow, “i’m not a robot- how many people don’t know?”

“thank you for confirming, move through,” he requests. loki glances at the machine in front of him before stepping through it, a small picture printing after he’s on the other side. loki catches vibrant orange and red with hints of green that overcome any other color. “through the door, please.”

-

he encounters the same guard from before with a frustrated glare, leading him to what looks like a courtroom, a woman sitting in the middle, reading off a file. “variant L4293, aka loki laufeyson-l/n, is charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. how do you plead?” loki tilts his head at her, “madam, a god- i don’t plead.”

the woman sighs tiredly, “are you guilty or not guilty?” loki’s eyes thin as he observes her. “guilty of… trying to find my wife, yes. guilty of being extremely frustrated, yes. guilty of whatever it is you’re accusing me of, no. not guilty.” loki’s hand curls, trying to use his abilities inconspicuously but dismayed to not be able to. he tries again, only to come up empty as he realizes what is happening. “magic powers are no good in the tva, mister laufeyson,” the judge says absentmindedly. “i prefer l/n,” loki diverts simply, unknowingly catching the attention of one of the attendees. the judge barely acknowledges him, about to say something else before a man jumps up, hand raised, “wait, wait- uh, i have something to add to this. before the court makes a decision.”

the judge tilts her head at the man, pursing her lips before sighing and letting him approach the bench. loki leans in to try to understand the whispers that are exchanged, ending in the judge sending one last look his way before letting him go. “the court finds you innocent- and under agent mobius’ responsibility,” she clarifies, looking at the man and watching him nod quickly. she slams her gavel and motions for the man- mobius, he assumes, to take loki. he stands and awkwardly bows, before going over to loki and raising an eyebrow, “don’t betray me,” he says, words too true to be something playful. loki’s head tilts to the side in slight confusion, watching as the man begins to walk, pausing to urge loki to follow him.

loki ignores the activity through the windows of the hall, choosing to concentrate on mobius. “why did you do that?” he wonders aloud, suspicious eyes following him as his head peeks into halls. “let’s just say it’s a favor, although you’ll be on thin ice forever.”

“favor for whom?” mobius doesn’t answer, turning a corner. loki exhales sharply before following him, continuing to pry as he briefly heeds his surroundings. the sight of a woman in a suit much like mobius’ catches his eye, her back to him but he recognizes the shape of her shoulder and the color of her hair. he looks away, pretending to concentrate on the clock thing on the television but actually chasing the overfamiliar features to a face.

the sound of your voice- something he hasn’t heard in an obscenely long time- craved for so much longer it seems like a lifetime, snaps his attention to what surely must be a cruel joke. he can tell it’s you now. you’re standing there, head tilted at the same receptionist man and chuckling exasperatedly, “come on, casey, we’ve been over this. a fish and a lion are not the same thing-”

“but a lionfish-?” casey asks, and loki is pushing away the guards already, because you’re there, you’re solid and laughing like you used to and you can’t not be real. he can distantly hear mobius’ voice telling the guards to let him go as if loki hasn’t already taken care of that, walking over to you with quick and quiet footsteps. his fingers circle around your wrist first as an assurance, and when you turn, hand still in his, eyes widening when you notice who he is, he pulls you into him completely. your arms wrap around him barely seconds later, finally registering the person in front of you as you squeeze him. “loki?” you whisper, inhaling the same familiar scent of him that you haven’t had in what seems like forever.

“i missed you so much,” he says, hands wandering over your back, touching your arms and your shoulders and your hips just to touch you. “me too- i didn’t- i thought i would never see you again.” your tears are falling on the fabric of his jumpsuit, small tearful gasps escaping your lips while you tug him as close as you can, tangling your fingers in his hair and shutting your eyes at the familiar feeling. “oh god, you’re here-”

“i missed you so much,” he repeats, and you finally notice his words, realization like electricity, making you tremble and sigh softly. “what does that mean?” you question, already fearing the answer and already knowing the effects: the mess of his usually kept hair and the red tint of his eyes, like a sheen of sadness that stains the color of the eyes you have missed for so long. loki pulls away from you only to look at your face, trace the shape of the lips he’d spent hours of the morning pressing kisses to, memorize the curve of the nose you’d scrunch in a laugh when thor was a victim to one of his tricks.

“i have been looking for you, darling,” he murmurs, fingers running over your fallen tears while you notice the shine of his eyes, the tears that enhance the love he has for you. “because i’m…” you don’t want to finish your sentence, and you can tell loki doesn’t want you to either; he scans your features, small smile peeking through the shock and grief.

“i didn’t… mobius didn’t show me that, i thought-” your eyes flicker to the man before settling back on loki, the weight of the ring he’d given you feeling lighter now that it had found its pair. the various eyes on you don’t go unnoticed, and neither does the look mobius sends to the rest of the workers, indicating for them to go back to work. the cold of loki’s skin is comforting to the touch of your warmth, and you find yourself back in the summer afternoons where you would settle with your husband to read books, rubbing cool fingers on the hot of your skin when you felt suffocated by the heat of the sun.

another tear slips from your eyes when you realize you don’t have to imagine anymore, there’s no need to search for your memories and shut your eyes for them to run over you. your lips are on his when you can’t help it anymore, eyes squeezed close and salty tears dropping from your chin when it finally settles that he’s here and he’s yours and he’ll never be gone again.

he’ll make sure of that.

[bleulone]

Can we talk about about how Colin looked in ep 1 when he first saw Marina compared to how he looked when he saw Pen in ep 8. Almost the exact same look! Of course his look to Penelope is probably more about his guilt because he brushed her off when she tried to warn him but still..progress! Lol and then when he's getting ready to leave for Greece, he glanced towards Penelope's home. I think they're having Colin's feelings for her grow gradually in the show instead of all of a sudden like in the books.

Hey! Thank you for this insightful ask of yours :) Sorry for the late answer, I took a long time to write this— without further ado, here we go!

Indeed, Polin is first and foremost a story of gazes, those gazes being of many natures. Whether they are love ones, friendly ones, admirative ones or lustful ones, looking imposes itself to be a huge parameter in Penelope and Colin’s love story.

In order to understand that on screen, film-making has at its disposal a very rich and smart langage of its own. Sometimes, comparision helps to underlines the differences between one character’s relationship with person A mirorring person B. I feel like Shondaland and Chris Van Dussen wanted to introduce the audience to the evolution of our Bridgerton men’s perception of Love. For instance, while Anthony views attachement— to Siena— as a way to escape his responsibilities before becoming his villain (...until our queen ma’am Kate Sheffield comes to the picture), Benedict doesn’t comprehend this universal concept and prefers to enjoy the many physical pleasures life can offer. In other words, the older brothers already explored their sexuality here and there, making them the infamous rakes that they are. As for Colin, it’s a complete other thing.

Colin is young. Very young. At 21, he’s just left Eton College and barely knows anything of the world nor women. Like Anthony said in 1x06, Colin hasn’t been taken to brothels which is a very important step in the building of young men’s sentimental and sexual education during that time period. Since he missed this essential step, our sweet/immature boy has no clue about how to deal sagaciously with his feelings and his “foolish” impulses, baring his naivety. At this point of the story, we can easily come to the conclusion that Colin is a virgin who can’t drive XD. He’s just a child overcame by his passions, a hopelessly romantic who rushes things without taking the time to properly court or know his significant other. And his off-screen flirtation with those supposed numerous girls in London isn’t of any help to justify his (oh so little) experience. So when he sees Marina, he’s so struck by her... mainly by her alluring appearance. And he doesn’t seem to let his eyes nor mind go beyond her exquisite beauty.

In this perspective, the whole Colin/Marina storyline can be perceived as a parallelism to the Pen/Colin’s one. In 1x01, he is immediatley smitten with a dancing Miss Thompson, which happens to be ironically the same case with a 17 year-old Pen but with him. We got to see her, a few moments ago, dreamily looking at him from the back of the dancefloor (echoeing the episode where she fell madly in love with him after he fell off his horse at Hyde Park). She’s charmed by his dashing look and his kindness, yet she doesn’t seem to know anything else about him considering the rare conversations they share. Her burning gaze fits the original story from Julia Quinn’s books because in Romancing Mister Bridgerton, the 28 year-old spinster Penelope do realize later on that Colin is more than a good looking man : he’s a human who possesses a temper and flaws.

Either way, both of our boos are portrayed as hopelessly young people in love who childishly idealize the objects of their affection.

In 1x08, it’s the other way around. It’s Colin who sees Pen first, her who appears to wear the yellow dress’ lookalike from the pilot—what an interesting call back ^^. With his mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide open, we can catch sight of the timid spark of a change in his gaze : Colin Bridgerton notices Penelope Featherington. He‘s touched by the realization that she cares about him. It would be rather inappropriate of me to say that Colin is already in love with her. However, in the finale, I do believe that he’s more struck by her high level of deep care for him than her beauty.

We are thus able to spot two big differences in Colin’s relationship with women in this season : when his attraction to Marina was purely physical and rushed, his attraction with Penelope is more emotional and slow. And for now, he comes to cherish his special bond with her, especially after she tried to warn him of the dangerous trap he was about to fall into. Even if he just sees her as his younger sister’s best friend right now, Pen matters in his life. And it’s still a little yet important progress for sure.

Speaking of which, I agree with you that this look of awe as well as realization is mostly mixed up with guilt. Since he didn’t take into account her words, he felt the strong need to apologize. But bear in mind that guilt formulates a considerable part in Colin’s feelings for Pen... and it’s only the very beginning. In the future, he’ll blame himself for not seeing her as the beautiful goddess and siren that she is in the first place. He’ll blame himself for not reciprocating the feelings for her.... Though at the moment, due to his lack of experience with women, Colin is oblivious to Pen’s obvious signs of sorrow when he told her he’s leaving for Greece/Cyprus. Next time, he’ll detect her sadness and won’t let her go, I’m sure of it (if he doesn’t I’ll riot).

Furthermore, I’m so glad you brought up the scene where Colin glances at the Featherington house. I had the same thought as well. When you put this still and the one where Pen is crying while looking at her window side by side, it even seems like they’re looking at each other. In a way, it implicitly confirms Pen’s key role in his final decision... After all, she’s the one who inadvertently inspired him right ?

The act of traveling has always been seen as cathartic since leaving home to discover yourself allows you to heal your broken heart and soul. It’s natural for Colin to do this. To make his first real steps into the world. His choice is quite relatable more than it is essential for his arc in the series. I can’t wait for him to come back all changed, hot ^^ and mature. I think, like you said, they are planning on making him progressively falling in love with her. Colin’s feelings will gradually leave the platonic zone to explore and officially stay in the intimate zone throughout the seasons.

Overall, the Colin/Marina and Colin/Penelope parallel in s1 mostly helps viewers to compare the way Colin evolves from being a stubborn naive boy to a heartbroken young man who’s aware of his crutial need for Experience. His coming of age, just like Pen’s, has just begun. And they will surely lead to our boy changing himself into the true charming rake that he’s meant to be and our girl into a more confident woman. Consequently, I think their story won’t take 10 years but rather at the very least 5 years perhaps to fit the TV timeline. Once Polin will finally be able to discuss, we’ll hopefully get to see more interesting nuances and shades added to the portrait they painted of one another over the years. They’re indispensable to the slow build up of their emotions/attraction as well as the shattering of their childish idealization/perception of each other.

All in all, I’m so loving the fact that season 1 beautifully sets up the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story. This first installment is like an expository scene of a play. It leaves a trail of clues and pieces of information here and there at the reach every viewers who can pick them up and analyze what can be the main themes which will determine one character’s story arc/romance. With Polin we have : admiration, wit, love and friendship, desillusionment. (I know they are more but it’s all I can think of rn lol).

If we’re already emotional messes just with the mere power of them looking at each other, imagine when they’ll actually talk and share real conversations. It’s going to be a long way to canon but luv me some good fluffy angsty steamy slow burn :) ✨ I hope this long of mine answers your ask ahah, even if I talked about many things other than just Polin’s looks. Also, sorry if you spot some grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.

[dogmomwrites]

Find the Words!

I love this game too much lol thanks for the tag, @aohendo! Passing the fun to @briannaswords, @carefulpyro, @lockejhaven, and @pixelw0rds! Your words are growl, alone, pure, and eye

My words were grit, gape, gain, grasp, and gasp, and they're under the cut!

Grit (taken from unnamed WIP)

He was comforted by the surprise and disapproval in her voice. At least, he assumed it was surprise and disapproval. “Yeah, you see? I’m sorry I snapped at you. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m just really unhappy right now and I took it out on you and I’m sorry. I really need you to forgive me. Everyone else is mad at me and won’t forgive me—I’ll be sad if you are too.”

It was too much for her. Wheeling around, she threw herself on him, making him grunt and fall backwards. She shoved her head against his chest and howled softly, her claws digging into his shoulders.

Riley let out curse, trying to catch onto anything to keep from falling, but there was nothing within reach. He landed on his back, hitting the floor hard enough to send a sharp jolt of pain shooting through every muscle. Landing on the carpet felt like landing on another set of railroad ties, and he gritted his teeth to avoid letting her know how much her hug hurt. She’d apparently forgotten about the incident with his car and the overpass, because she dug her claws in, clinging to him with all she had.

Gape (taken from Castle)

Nuka watched the entirety of the fight with great excitement. He laughed at how funny it looked when Marrick threw the wolvins, their paws and tails flailing as they flew through the air. He gaped in awe at how skillful Spirit was with her sword as she carved the wolvins into pieces. And he held his breath every time Raavi got knocked down. He couldn’t wait to tease him about that.

By the time Captain Nightwish appeared on scene, the fight was all but over. Only a small handful of wolvins had survived, and Spirit was playing with three of them. They lunged at her, but weren’t fast enough to get her. She infuriated them by slapping them with the flat of her blade.

A wolvin stood over Raavi. It had knocked him down and his weapons were out of reach. The wolvin didn’t see or hear Nightwish over the fighting as he ran up behind it. When he was close enough, he grabbed its tail and snapped its neck when it spun around to bite him.

It wasn’t until Nightwish sent Spirit to the castle that Nuka realized something was very wrong.

Gain (taken from unnamed WIP)

It took a few minutes of him pounding his fist against the door for Jimmy to answer. He looked like he’d just woken up, his eyes half-closed to the sunlight and wearing only what he slept in.

“Don’t answer the door in your underwear,” Riley said.

The door was shut in his face. “Fuck you,” Jimmy said through the wood.

There was no sound of it being locked, so Riley tested. It opened and he stepped in. “Mom made breakfast.”

Jimmy stood by the couch, leaning slightly as he considered falling on it to go back to sleep. “Pancakes?” he asked.

“Yeah,” he said, and Jimmy straightened up. Barely glancing at Riley, he moved to the door. “Get dressed.”

“No,” Jimmy said.

Grasp (taken from unnamed WIP)

Aaron’s eyes flicked to it, and he squinted. Had the chair been there before? Had it been there the whole time? Trying to think with such a headache was proving harder than he would’ve expected. “I…I’d write.” That’s what a pen and paper are for, right?

“But what would you write?”

“I…” He felt like he knew what he’d wanted the pen and paper for, but now he couldn’t remember. The knowledge was there, just beyond his grasp. But the more he tried to reach it, the farther away it slipped. “I’d write…words?”

Doctor Krauss let out a soft chuckle. “Well, I suppose I can’t argue that. However, Aaron, I do have to wonder if you’re capable of writing at the moment,” he said, and it took Aaron a minute to look up at him. “I must say, you don’t look very good. You look quite ill. Perhaps you’re sick?”

Was he? Did he feel sick? Did he remember what feeling sick was like?

“I think your report will have to wait a little longer, Aaron,” Krauss said, getting up. By the time Aaron was able to focus again, the chair was gone.

What chair?

Gasp (taken from unnamed WIP)

It was late in the afternoon when Jimmy woke and was aware of it. He was dragged cruelly from a dream of wonderful insanity by a loud, incessant beeping. He knew even before he opened his eyes what the sound was. A monitor, obnoxiously telling him that he was alive.

“Good morning,” McAllister said, smiling at him. “Coffee?”

Jimmy tried to tell him coffee was the worst, but the only sound he made was a hacking cough. The sharp motion made him gasp with a sudden, overwhelming pain. His face went white and tears filled his eyes.

“Get the nurse.”

Jimmy wasn’t aware of the nurse coming in and injecting morphine into his intravenous drip. He was only aware of the pain slowly fading. He felt weak and shaky when he was finally able to sink back against the pillows.

“Better?”

Eyes closed, he let out a huff that was supposed to be a full sentence.

“I think that’s a yes.” McAllister sounded amused.

“Good. Now that he’s all happy, I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

It took a minute for Jimmy to realize that was Riley’s voice. He opened his eyes. He let out a soft noise that made Riley shake his head.

“Don’t wheeze at me in that tone.”

[babi-correia]

Officer Down

From Anon #1:

Would you be able to write a really angsty story with adam ruzek x reader and they are both members of intelligence and they have a fight in the locker rooms and it affects their work, and then reader gets injured or something and at med it’s just fluff? thanks, i love your writing!

And Anon #2:

Could you do number 13 and 20 with adam ruzek x reader? preferably reader is the one who gets hurt, i live for angst lol! thank you 13- “Don’t die on me, please.”  20- “You’re the only thing that makes me smile.”

I thought these really fit in together!

Words: 2109 (...ops?) Warnings: Canon-typical violence, gunshots, injured reader, cursing, blood... angst, I guess, be prepared for anything Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Reader A/N: I’m still working on my angst-writting skills, but I hope you guys like it!

“Adam, this is ridiculous.” You snap once you walk into the locker, not caring if someone else hears you. He, on the other hand, quickly shushes you as he scopes the room for prodding ears and closes the door. “See what I mean!”

“You know how Voight is about dating within the unit.” He says, going back to his locker. You throw your hands in the air.

“For God’s sake, Adam!” You can hear the desperation in your tone, and it makes you cringe. “We’ve met each other’s family; everyone knows we’re dating except the unit.”

“And it will stay that way.” He says sternly, making his way out of the locker room and leaving you there alone.

Your blood feels like it’s burning with anger inside your veins and you slam the locker door shut, barely controlling yourself before you step outside and into the bullpen.

The white board stares at you mockingly, the case displayed having been there for over two days. Child abduction, where four kids had gone missing and two had come up dead by the river. The whole police force was on overdrive trying to catch the perpetrator, but no one was making any progress whatsoever.

“Third kid came up by the river.” Voight says curtly, updating the board. “And I don’t see any progress on the case!”

He places a pin on the map, in the place where the kid was found, and you approach it, tapping your finger on it as you recognize the area.

“I have a CI that lives and hangs out in that area.” You mutter. “He’s from my time in Narcotics. I’ll pay him a visit and see if he saw anything.”

“Alone?” Adam asks, prompting a glare from you. Typically, you would take someone with you, but today it would just be adding fuel to the fire.

“Yep.” You say, patting your pocket, checking for your keys before you trot down the stairs and into your car.

You make the drive there while thinking back to your relationship troubles, nearly running a red light shortly before you reach your destination.

You park under a tree, turning off your car and calling your CI. He picks up at the second ring and you instruct him to meet you at your car, which he promptly does. He closes the door after he enters, eyeing you warily.

“It’s been a while.” He remarks, fiddling with his hands.

“This area of town has been quiet. Until that kid came up, that is.” You say calmly before turning to him. “You don’t happen to know anything, do you?”

“I, erm… I heard something about a black car not from around here.”

“What do you mean ‘not from around’?” You ask, picking up your notebook and your pen.

“Out of state. It was orange and black, I think.” He says, scratching his head.

“New York?” You ask, pulling up a picture of a New York plate on your phone and showing him. He nods. “You remember the plate?”

“I think it had a GO something in the letters, and two fives in a row.” He says, tapping his fingers on his legs. “It was a lady driver, I’m sure of that. And I’m almost certain there was a rental sticker on the back window.”

“So, you’re saying that it was a woman, and that she rented a car in New York, and then came all the way to Chicago?” You say, scribbling down on your note pad.

“That’s what I saw.” He says. You nod and slip him a couple of bills, prompting him to leave the car.

You begin to make your way back to the precinct when you notice a shiny black car with a huge container trailer parked on an abandoned lot and slow your car until you stop at the end of the street. You grab the portable radio and hook it up to your jacket, checking your gun and holstering it before you grab the car’s radio.

“Main, this is 50-21 Ocean requesting immediate back-up at the abandoned lot by the river in South Lock Street, sighting of a suspect’s vehicle, a black sedan with New York plates, RTO-9554. Plain-clothed officer on scene making initial approach and assessment of the perimeter.” You say into the radio, unbuckling your seatbelt and getting out of the car.

You turn your radio’s volume to the minimum, but Adam’s voice is still perfectly audible through it.

“(Y/N), what the hell are you doing?! Wait for back-up!” He hisses through the radio, making you roll your eyes.

“Focus on getting here, Ruzek.” You say coldly, your hand resting on your holster as you inch towards the abandoned lot. The area is open, no trees or buildings for you to hide behind, so you just hope for the best as you get closer. You hear the sirens in the distance and curse out before picking your radio up again. “50-21 Ida, George, David, Adam, and all assisting officers, kill the sirens and the lights. The area is exposed and all we have for us is the element of surprise.”

But it’s too late. The cars are already on the side street when they kill the sirens, and it was enough to get the woman’s attention, as she exits the container with something in hand. You quickly draw your gun, but it’s not quick enough. You hear the bang and feel something hitting hard against your chest as you fall backwards.

Everything grows numb for a moment, the sounds drown out and you feel yourself falling to the floor, but can’t really find it in you to care about it. The numbness subsides partially and you regain your hearing, being able to hear a lot of shouting not too far from you. You feel your shirt sticking to your chest and start feeling a white-hot pain that knocks the wind out of you. Next thing you know, you’re struggling to breathe.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N), can you hear me?” You barely hear Adam’s voice over the noise of your own blood rushing through your ears. Adam’s at your side, on his knees and looking at you with a frazzled expression. “Don’t die on me, please!”

You look down at his hands and see that they’re covered in blood; in your blood. Panic sets in and you look at him with wide and scared eyes.

“I don’t want to die.” You rasp out desperately, holding Adam’s forearm as he tries to stop the bleeding. You can see the tears in his eyes and feel your own streaming down your face as you cough. One of his bloody hands shoots to his radio before he speaks.

“Main, this is 50-21 Ida again, officer down! Where’s my fucking ambulance!?” He shouts, his hand trembling when he lets go of the radio. He gets a vague reply from Main and focuses on trying to stop your bleeding as you feel yourself growing colder and weaker.

“Adam…” You say, meekly putting your hand on his arm. He looks at you, fear, sadness and despair evident in his face. “I love you, never forget that.”

He stifles a sob as one of his hands leaves your chest to cup your face, wiping out a tear.

“I love you too, but don’t die on me, c’mon (Y/N). I know you can do this.” He mutters, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he turns his attention back to stopping your bleeding. You hear footsteps rushing towards you and see the rest of the unit looking between you and the three different streets next to where you are.

You can hear the sirens in the distance, but you’re fighting a loosing battle against your eyelids. You rest your hands atop Adam’s, making him look towards you.

“You know… I always wanted to die for something.” You rasp, watching him shake his head and shushing you. “You being here makes it better. I always feared dying alone.”

“(Y/N), you’re not dying.” This time the sob comes out loud and clear, and it breaks your heart. “You’re not, you’re not leaving me, not yet, c’mon.”

“Adam…”

“Don’t you dare. I know you love me, and I love you, but you’re not dying, you’re not leaving me here stranded and alone. You’re going to be fine. We’re going home and watching a crappy movie cramped up in that small couch of yours, but we’re not going to actually watch the movie because you’re going to be making silly remarks and comebacks about the movie, and then you’ll tickle me because the movie is so bad that you can’t even watch it anymore. And then we’ll shut the TV off, and kiss and cuddle in the couch before we venture into the kitchen to cook dinner, and I’ll probably burn something no one thought it was possible to burn, and we’ll have to order something in and we’ll laugh about how much of a disaster I am before we go to bed and cuddle some more.”

Adam’s openly bawling when he finishes speaking, his tears mixing with your blood on top of his hands. You sob slightly before looking around at the members of Intelligence.

“There goes your plan of keeping everything secret.” You whisper, chuckling slightly before groaning in pain.

“That’s not important right now.” He says, his head snapping in the direction of the sirens. “The ambulance is almost here baby, hold on.”

“I love you, Adam.” You whisper, no longer able to keep your eyes open. Darkness consumes you as you vaguely hear Adam calling your name.

-

Adam finds himself in the apartment you’ve shared for the last two months. No one knew about it other than the two of you, and now Intelligence. Jay goes with Adam, urging him to take a shower and change into fresh clothes.

Adam just feels numb. He feels like his heart was ripped out and trampled in that street, left behind along with your blood. His emotions come back and hit him at once, making him collapse in the middle of the living room. His mind keeps taking him back and replaying the scared and sad look on your face as he saw life slowly draining from you. Jay kneels beside Adam and hugs him as Adam sobs.

“I can’t do this without her.” He manages to say, clinging to Jay as is his life depended on it. “I need her here with me.”

-

Adam nearly collapses when he sees you in the hospital room, your skin sickly ashy, more tubes than he wants to count connected to you, your eyes closed and your body unmoving.

What he would give for you to wake up right then and joke with him about how he was forced to out your relationship, or just hug him and say that you’re fine and that the two of you are going to be ok.

He gingerly sits in the chair by your bed, trying to rub away the stinging of his eyes from crying and grabbing your hand, gently tracing patterns.

Over the days, he talks to you a lot and refuses to leave your side. He’s pretty much memorized the timing of the beeping of the machines, so his ears perk up when one of them beeps out of time. He jolts forward and grabs your hand with his two.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, can you hear me?” He asks hopefully, sitting in the edge of his chair. He slumps when he gets no response. “Baby, you have no idea what I’d do just to have you come back to me. You’re my love, you’re my joy, my life, you’re the only thing that makes me smile. Please, please come back to me.”

“A girl has to almost die to get declarations like this?” He shoots up when he hears your voice, his eyes wide as they fixate on you. “You’re a huge teddy bear, you know?”

He launches forward and hugs you gingerly, hiding his face in your neck as he starts to openly cry.

“I love you so much, I’m sorry I’m an ass to you sometimes.” He whispers into your neck, sobbing. “I was so scared.”

You slowly wrap your arms around him and rub his back.

“I’m right here, babe. I’m not leaving you this early.” You say, making him pull away slightly before you speak again. You wipe his tears away with your thumbs, cupping his face. “I’m the only thing that makes you smile, right? So please do.”

He chuckles, tears brimming on his eyes before he brings his lips to yours and kisses you softly.

[heteroromanticbinsual]

Changbin Falling for You

My First Imagine (be merciful lol)

- Fluff, Romance, Angst, (tried to remain gender neutral)

Setting: During COVID19 Pandemic, Professor and Changbin (not a student teacher relationship tho)

PART 2

Scene: SKZ Dorm

Changbin was unable to sleep last night because he was pondering about what had happened the morning before; it was the most interesting interaction he had had with a fan. He stayed up all night thinking about what it would be like to meet you again. Would you be elated that he remembered you, that he sought you out? He was giddy with the thoughts that you would like him so much and that only made it more difficult for him to fall asleep.

When six o’clock rolled around, Changbin wasted no time and got ready. Surprisingly, he was the first to be finished and all dressed up. He quickly ate breakfast and waited in the van while the other members were finishing their food. 

Eager to meet the girl again, Changbin said to his manager “Hyung, so, uhm... yesterday I was helping this lady and she accidentally dropped her work ID and, uhm.. I figured we could return it back to her since, you know, it’s probably important to her.”  “So could we?” Changbin continued.

“Sure, yeah. I can return it to her,” the manager said.

Changbin replied, “Are you sure I can’t come along too, you know... since she might recognize you and wonder why you have her work ID?”

“It’s fine. You will be filming today and going on a trip, so I can do it by myself and just let her know that you found it.” The manager replied.

Defeated, Changbin agreed and became a bit sullen.

Upon the other members arrival, they realized Changbin’s change of mood and knew that Changbin’s plan to meet you was unsuccessful. Bangchan didn’t want him to be so sad, so they started to sing and I.N. tightly hugged him. How could Changbin be sad anymore, now that the maknae had been affectionate to him? Changbin became his joyful self and Stray Kids went on filming their two day trip in Busan.

After the trip, Changbin was no longer pondering about his encounter with you. He accepted it as just that, a brief encounter. He was not concerned with whether his manager had successfully returned your work ID and went about his life. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been a couple of months since your encounter with Changbin.

You wanted to meet him again, and go the convenience store the following days, but it was raining heavily in Seoul. By the time the storms had lifted, it was Monday and your busy schedule began all over again. You had to attend meetings, hold virtual class sessions, complete final grades, hold tutoring sessions, and complete your research. So, you didn’t get the opportunity to meet Changbin again. Just as he had accepted that your encounter was brief, so did you. You went about your life and delved into your work as a Professor. But your visits to the convenience store did not stop though. It was still the best place to grade papers and grab a snack, while not being too far away from home. You came so often, that even the clerk knew what you would buy, how long you would stay and what you would be doing.

Scene: SKZ Dorm

Felix had bought hard boiled eggs instead of raw eggs again and someone needed to do a quick run to the store, so Felix could make brownies. As always, Changbin lost in “Rock, Paper, Scissor,” and had to get the eggs. Worried that he would take too long, Seungmin was told to tag along. While Changbin talked the whole way there, Seungmin simply listened and hummed.

Oblivious of their surrounding, they quickly entered the store, bought their eggs and returned home. To their surprise, they had bought the wrong eggs too. Everyone let out a disappointed sigh and decided they would just all go and Bangchan would show everyone the correct eggs to buy. 

Noise echoed throughout the streets and their voices were heard all the way from the store. The boys were yapping away about how useless Changbin, Seungmin, and Felix were. Bangchan, the only sensible one, told them to tune down their voices as to be respectful of the peace in the streets, but that did little to silence them.

Scene: Convenience Store

At the opposite end of these rambling boys, you had just settled down with your tea and last folder of papers to grade, when you heard all the chaos coming from down the street. Determined to finish your work load before the weekend began, you put in your ear buds and started working. Though you tried so hard to concentrate, the noise only got louder as you continued. So rather than fight all the noise, you decided to take a moment to just breath. You rested your head and listened to a calming song.

The boys, now at the door of the store, got carried away and bought more than just eggs. They filled their basket with snacks, drinks, chicken breast, and all sorts of goodies. When they got to the counter, the clerk asked them to be quieter because you were grading papers and the noise was distracting you. The boys apologized and started to put their items on the counter to pay, when Lee Know paused and quietly whispered to everyone, “Wait, is that the same person that Changbin met last time?”

Everyone stopped in their track and turned to see you outside. Changbin, just returning from getting Iced Americanos for Lee Know and Han, blankly stared with the boys.

“What is it,” he asked.

Lee Know whispered, “Is that the same person you met last time?”

Changbin, nervous that it was you, quickly hid behind the other members, only to have them push him to the front. The clerk, confused with all this, asked them what they were doing.

“Do they teach at a university, and grade English papers.” Lee Know asked.

The clerk unknowingly nodded and all the boys went into panic mode, hitting each other and yelling internally. They had all forgotten about this incident until now. Without hesitation, they all told Changbin to go talk to you and pushed him outside. Changbin a nervous wreck just stood there while Bangchan paid for the items.

Noticing that all the noise had subsided, you took out your ear buds and started grading  your papers. As you reached for your pink pen, you felt someone staring at you, so you looked back. Upon your discovery, you saw a group guys quickly turn away and act oblivious. This only made you feel more uncomfortable, so you decided to just finish your work load at home. You packed all your papers into your folder and began to leave.

“Wait,” Lee Know called.

You continued, hoping that they weren’t trying to get your attention.

“Y/N, wait” Changbin called this time.

END OF PART 2

[taptroupe]

EVERGRACE NOVEL CHAPTER 10 PART 2/3 LIKE SOME YOUTUBE ANIME

“No matter how many times you tried to stop her, Sharline cannot be stopped, even by a moving train.”

Medina raised her head, jolted back to reality with Darius’ words. The silver-haired youth looked at her with a gentle gaze.

“She literally repels trains.”

“...Thank... you?” Medina’s face contorted ever so slightly.

^^^ THE ABOVE NEVER HAPPENED JUST WANTED A FUNNY THING TO START THIS POST

now it is time for the second part of chapter 10. let’s go no breaks no stops here

after the nice touching moment of DARIUS IS ABLE TO KINDLY TALK TO WOMEN CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ARC he asks so hey do you know where sharline and the sienna and trandin are

“They should be at the highest point of the tower, where my grandfather is. There’s many paths up this tower, and many have never seen a human life travel through - [basically the top of the tower is the best place to watch anything happen]”

“okayyy cool, can you tell us how to get up?”

“yes but could you wait a moment? i wanna get all healed up” medina says. there’s a reference to “light of life” here and i forget if that’s a thing in evergrace. i’m guessing it’s just a HP restoring ilght idk and medina needs to be there

“? is it a really difficult path?”

“No, no that... After letting Sharline go like that, I just can’t stop regretting it... I’d like to go along with you two.”

MEDINA JOINS THE PARTY! 

feel free to click more for intense lore library moments this took me 3 months to finish this part lol.

Silence from the dudes lol. Until Oldsfjlsdfjlkdsjf pipes up:

“Aren’t you afraid of Morpheus?” (uses kimi here again. why)

“True, but.. I’ll be fine as long as we reach the laboratory. I need to go up, there’s things that I have always wanted to say [aka tell my grandfather]...” Medina looked at them with serious eyes.

---

As they left the warmth of Medina’s living spaces, the cold passages of the tower pervaded their bodies. The rocks that shaped the pathways and rooms were all made of a certain blue-greenish stone. hmmm.... sounds like tower upper, but it can’t be because of a scene later. here goes

“This is a one-way path, isn’t it...”

“This path? Was there anyone else supposed to be here?”

“The Legendary Mercenary, after we were defeated by him, there was a man that saved us.” < orladin says this

“Ah right, about that... What happened to Red Breeze? After his axe sunk into me... What happened?” < darius is saying this. a worrying thought suddenly spreads throughout his body

“I saw waves of golden light... I think. Someone... someone cried out to stop, and then... I.... i... What happened after that...?”

“After you suffered that near-death blow by Red Breeze, some unknown man swooped in and saved all of us after we finished him off. That’s all there is to it.”

a tense feeling fills the air.... darius tries hard to recall that, but is cut off by um, i think orladin again

“Don’t think about it any further. That’s over now.”

FORESHADOWING TO PART 3 OF THIS CHAPTER!?

“ya know, this guy you’re talking about kinda reminds me of .... a “Demon,” yeah!”

:O says darius. “You know what a “Demon” is?”

“Demon... I’ve heard of it before, yes. There are books regarding the Crest research in the library up ahead, I read them before [more or less].,  Would you like to go there? I didn’t tell Sharline about it, but it might be of interest to you.”

the path there has traces of people’s belongings but everything is overgrown by trees and grass. medina explains that a long time ago, morpheus’ researcher peoples lived here, this is where she was fused with the alcrest and palmira etc etc uhhhhhhhhh THIS STUFF WILL BE ADDED WHEN I HAVE TIME IT’S JUST MORE TOWER LORE ABOUT HER LIFE AND SUCH

they descend a stairway and medina mentions a lot of monsters. but if they stay by her it’s fine! scary!

“for some reason monsters just appear out of nowhere here, and it’s not my grandfather’s doing. people have been hurt in the past due to this, but i’m not particularly scared because these clothes seem to repel them with magic.”

"even with that reason, I don’t really get it. these monsters must be morpheus’s doing, somehow...”

this bit was pretty hard to understand but suddenly medina gets a bit sad and he’s like 

“ah, shit, i didn’t mean to say that it was just a guess” LOL ODLFJKSDFJD NOW IT’S YOUR CURSE TO NOT TALK TO WOMEN PROPERLY

“No, no... The royal family, my grandfather and I never saw with them eye to eye. Like we were enemies. But for what we’ve done, I wonder if we can ever be forgiven by your family...”

they keep walking. they come across that monster that darius fought so long ago trying to save the old king. he and olfdksdf ready their swords, but medina is like NO WORRIES. AND SHE’S RIGHT. IT”S FINE IT DOESN’T FIGHT THEM. WILD!

they reach a switch that medina mentions has to be hit with tree palmira. just like the game! she hits it and bam they make it to the library

now i have to be honest. this part is really good if you wanna analyze evergrace lore. i’m gonna be heavy on machine translation though and be pretty thorough. that will come tomorrow though i’m sleepy

..........

THREE MONTHS LATER I’M BACK LOL

they entered the library, door closes behind them, medina walks towards a certain bookshelf. i’m not sure what book she picks out, but it’s about the green moon and half days? that’s one bit of evergrace lore i haven’t written down the moon stuff. they open it up, it’s full of notes, and gestures for darius to read or something. but he shakes his head cuz,

“for me, the language of rieubane is ancient now. I can’t read this.”

so orladin reads it instead. it’s a letter between royalty or something, and he notices something.

“what’s this? ‘our empire is in a state of survival. because of our research of the crest and creation of the demon, we’ve become trapped here. furthermore, the monsters spawned from the demon has killed many of our empire’s people.’ ahh, this is a writing from the previous king, when the demon was just thought of as some joke.”

“wait, there’s a footnote.

‘Demon - what us nobles have been calling the demon, is a sort of incarnation born from someone with the crest [that’s what we think]. when the destruction of toledo occured, it was a women with the crest who transformed, her body glowing yellow, and it was reported that she’d taken a shape resembling a bird.

running experiments on other crest holders, they gained physical strength and a transformation of their body as well.’

man this footnote’s long there’s still more [orladin says this lmao]

‘a footnote on the day of the purple moon -  as penned by morpheus, this transformation will be called Forrimification.”

you know...... forrim is krisalis’s name in japanese.... so.............. krisalization might be a nice way to translate it. krisalisication? demonification is something like what agetec used. 

sooooooooooooooooooooo..... the name...................... should be enough to make anyone jump at the lore right? so here’s darius now

“krisalis?! did you say that the process of becoming a demon is called krisalisication?!”

medina raised her head at darius’s sudden outburst. it was as if darius was looking out into space, eyes shadowed, but somehow he is looking at orladin too okay

“um... what do you mean?”

“krisalis is the name of the golden bird that’s been accompanying us this whole time.”

orladin replies. oh maybe they’re just looking at each other with shock. darius does this with his fist as he continues on

“krisalis... she told me she wanted to defeat the demon, did she mean she wanted to kill herself? no... she must’ve meant something else...”

orladin pipes in with something i don’t understand. something like “you know there’s other demons born from other crest bearers maybe”

“then, maybe the legendary mercenary was the demon? but krisalis said i’d be able to return to my own world if i defeated the demon... we defeated him, yet... was that a lie?”

“why’d you have to trust that monster?”

“she’s saved us so many times before.” [yeah i guess i can’t remember an instance of her really saving their ass but she’s provided lots of help hasn’t she?]

“i think she’s just been using you, zo”

darius glared seriously at orladin.

“orladin. what’s wrong with you? what’s so hard to understand about that?”

orladin was still giving a funny, probably untrusting expression here because darius could see right through his shit. in the words of twewy. TRUST YOUR PARTNER

“If you can’t believe in me, then you can just stay here with Medina.”

“What?!”

“Leading an army, you would probably know how dangerous it can be if there’s conflict within the soldiers. If we defeat Morpheus, there might be a way to change the princess back to normal. And if you don’t want to believe in me, well...”

you know when i first read this i remember darius being more serious sounding than how i just translated it. i’m not sure if he’s faltering here, trying to lead orladin to his own conclusions, or something... but i do like how he’s learning to trust. you see, this chapter is all about darius levelling up in his human relationships and i’m very proud of him. anyways here’s orladin getting pissed off

but as he gets pissed at what darius says, he takes it in and swallows his anger. speaking slowly, he starts:

“me, stay here by myself? staying back is reserved for cowards like the king and that one solider. [don’t forget the dude who stayed behind at the shrine lol] I can’t use palmira armaments. if monsters attack, i’m done for...

you... you’re my last trump card. i don’t have anything else.”

“so you trust me?”

“guess i have to.”

darius should’ve hooked up with novel orladin. solves everything about orladin with one swoop - game orladin is a pedo, and novel orladin is probably incestuous. if they got together.... everything would be at peace. sadly masanori takeuchi saved gay men for enchanted arms

darius’s expression softened with an understanding nod.

“i’d rather be a mercenary than some bickering friend.”

medina is just standing there confused. to add to that they ask her more stuff lol

“so, uh, do you know anything about krisalis?”

“nah, but lemme see...”

medina goes to a different bookshelf and picks out a book, flips through it to a certain page and stops. looking through it she closes it again

“it just says the same as the others. the transformation of crest bearers.... the destructive power of the crest...”

“but, what is the crest?”

medina looks through the book again, then another book, and finds the answer.

“Cycle - the way in which all things flow towards. the secretive source of the billiana fruit’s power is something we do not yet know. the fruit has no seeds, nor have there been reports of young or old growth trees, yet the trees increase in amount. they exist even in places where it should be impossible for trees to grow. Thus, the billiana trees exist outside the cycle. However, there is an opinion that even billiana must have some sort of laws of creation and destruction.”

“Is anything written about Billiana, then? Anything in regarding people?”

“No, that’s all about Billiana. What do you mean?”

“Morpheus, he once called Sharline the cycle for some reason.”

“Sharline...? No, in regarding the Cycle’s information, there’s nothing about referring to particular people...”

“Is that so...”

“Anything else you’d like to know?

Darius shook his head, and as did Orladin. and soooooooooooooooooo

THEY LEFT

FINALLY THEY GOT OUT OF THE LIBRARY AFTER THREE MONTHS

I’M FREE

[kirishwima]

Hello!! Could I please request the RFA with a MC who becomes non-verbal when very stressed or sad? The kind to panic on the inside but stay too silent on the outside

Heyo! I have the exact same issue when it comes to anxiety tbh-any time I get over-whelmed im immediatly unable to talk for at least a couple hours afterwards ;; 

i focused this more on like panic attacks and anxiety so i hope it’s okay!

with that being said-be warned there’s mentions of panic attacks in this so pleaase don’t read it if that’s a trigger for you! Stay safe xx

YOOSUNG:

The first time he witnesses MC's bout of panic honestly catches him completely off guard-he'd been playing LOLOL with MC in his team, sitting on the couch with their laptop, when he noticed their game character had gone completely still, and wouldn't respond to their teammates in the chat  

He turned to ask MC if their game was lagging when he noticed them freezing up-they were wide eyed and staring at the screen, their lips a thin line as their chest heaved and their hands trembled over the keyboard.

Yoosung's heart lurched from his throat-game abandoned, he ripped his headset off of his head as he kneeled in front of MC, taking their hands in his.

"M-MC? Hey, honey what's wrong? Talk to me please?"

His pleads fell on deaf ears-or well, not quite. MC turned to him, recognised the words as their eyes teared up, yet they couldn't speak, their voice lodged in their throat and refusing to come out.

Yoosung tried to make them match their breathing with his, and after what felt like forever MC seemed to wind down-they stopped trembling, their breaths evening out.

When they explained how this is a frequent situation for them, Yoosung didn't feel all that relieved; he never wanted to see his MC like that ever again.

He learnt to recognise the cues of an oncoming panic attack in MC, and became quick to act-at the slightest hint he'd take them to a quieter location if they weren't at home, and would simple sit there with MC, breathing slow and deep so as to have MC match his breaths-for him it wasn't much, but for MC his support meant everything.

ZEN:

The first time it happens was midway through a rehearsal for a play; he caught glimpse of MC dashing backstage and into his dressing room, and his gut told him this was serious; so he left the scene midway through, following suit to hos dressing room to see what's up.

When he found MC crumpled on the floor breathing erratically, their hands over their mouth, he ran and sat besides them, bringing them into an embrace as he rubbed soothing circles at their back.

When they wouldn't reply to anything he asked he held them at arms length with a furrow in his brows.

"Does something hurt?" he asked. MC shook their head no. "Can you speak?" Another shake no.

Quickly he shuffled through his pockets and took out his phone, opening the messaging app. He placed the phone in MC's hands, his touch lingering. "Here, just-type for me? Explain what's wrong, how I can help."

MC was awed at his idea-in their current state they didn't think of writing! So they explained everything in a text, how they sometimes go non-verbal and how even after the panic passes they sometimes still need some time to be able to speak again.

Zen nodded and stayed besides them until they were able to whisper his name-he was so grateful to hear his beloved's voice again that he simply had to lean in and kiss MC for their effort.

After that, if this ever happened again, Zen would immediatly grab his or Mc's phone and talk with them through text-sometimes though he'd simply hold them close and sing to them, soothing lullabies that'd make MC's heartbeat slow back to normal.

JAEHEE:

Honestly, she was so shocked the first time MC went non-verbal in front of her that she actually called an ambulance to their home-MC was too shaken up to try and explain anything even through text, and Jaehee genially thought her beloved was having a heart attack!

As the paramedics examined MC and realised what's going on, they gave them some anxiolytics and told Jaehee what's going on.

Jaehee was as relieved as she was confused. If that was a panic attack-why did MC not say so?

After returning back home, MC explained everything to Jaehee with a sheepish look, flustered at the proportions this had taken-they never wanted to worry Jaehee like that.

To their surprise, Jaehee nodded through MC’s explanation and sighed a sigh of relief, slumping down on MC’s shoulder, her head resting in the crook of MC’s neck.

“I’m sorry I-if something happened to you…”

She didn’t need to continue her sentence. MC rubber Jaehee’s back, and slept as physically close to Jaehee as they could that night.

From then on, Jaehee always had a notebook with her at all times, as well as other smaller pads around their home and coffee shop; whenever MC went non-verbal, Jaehee would simply give MC a pen and pad and ask them to explain what’s wrong and if they needed any help from her.

It was efficient, and honestly, knowing there was someone like Jaehee besides them to help was already more than enough for MC.

JUMIN:

Believe it or not, he completely understands when MC goes non-verbal. He’s not sure how he knew what was going on-some repressed part of his mind suggested he’d been through something similar before as a kid, yet he ignored that in favour of helping MC.

After confirming they couldn’t talk, he’d take them someplace they could feel safe, be it their bedroom if they were at home or the car if they were outside, any place isolated for MC to catch their breath.

He’d wait it out with them, and wouldn’t speak unless MC asked him to-he’d simply sit beside them and observe MC with worried eyes.

If even after a panic attack they were still unable to talk, he’d simply ask them to type out what they wanted to say on his phone, and he’d read it and respond to them normally.

He never judged or asked much about this to MC-he’s a very observant man, so he’d make sure to learn and categorise in his mind any potential triggers MC may have and avoid them at all costs.

He did often suggest to MC to visit a psychiatrist-he knew the benefits medications could have on panic attacks, and he wanted the best for his MC.

So if they agreed to it, he’d find the best doctor he could to help MC with their anxiety-he never wanted to see the person he loves in such a state when it could be avoided. When and if it did happen again though, he’d be there for MC through it all.

Honestly he’d just be glad if MC allowed him to be beside them through it all, and if he saw them improve their health he’d be so happy (bless this man srsly)

SEVEN/LUCIEL/SAEYOUNG:

Honestly, he absolutely has the same issue as MC-this is a head canon I’ve had of him since forever tbh lol

It’s not just with anxiety or panic attacks either; when he gets overy excited/furstrated or overwhelmed he’ll go non-verbal. He doesn’t know why it happened, he just figured fine, it’s a part of him and rolled with it

Since he never really had to talk to anyone during this times he never actually tried to combat it.

However when he realised MC had the same issue as him, he started pondering-could they do something about it? He hated how frustrated MC was with themself when they were unable to speak, and he hated being unable to help them.

In the meanwhile, he made an app for just the two of them-a text-to-speech converter that used their own voices, so that neither of them would feel they’re missing out from the conversation when they couldn’t talk.

Whenever MC panicked, he’d simply sit beside them and breathe deep and loud; he’d never tell MC to match his breathing, but since it was audible, it was a grounding sort of thing for them, and eventually they’d subconsciously match it on their own.

Eventually the two of them would sit together and think about what they could do-neither of them minded the fact that they went non-verbal since they’d already found ways to work around the issue, but the panic attacks were the issue-and both of them cared for each other enough to want to better their health and each other’s, lol

So eventually they’d reach out to Jumin for a recommendation to a doctor; he’d suggest a great psychiatrist to them that they could talk to individually, and that combined with medication really helped improve their anxiety respectively!

Although they’d constantly have to remind each other to take their meds orz

[opheliasbrokenmind]

blue velvet - michael gray

requested by: anon said ‘for my beautiful Michael Gray, maybe you could do one where the reader is in a different gang that is working with the Shelby’s after Michael works for tommy. And they have like a flirty vibe and maybe like end up getting together or something? Idk anything Michael would be awesome! 😎’

word count: 2.4K+

a/n: hi everyone! it took so long for me to finish it but here we goo. i enjoyed writing this hope you think the same when you read. i’m coming w new ideas, be ready for them :) btw i hate myself when i finish the fics like this, like it wasn’t an end lol :D maybe there should be a part two, what do you think? 

‘You’re finally ‘ere, Michael. I’m waiting for you, it’s been fucking twenty minutes.’ Michael sighed with Tommy’s words, he knew how hard he worked but here he was, being mad at him. ‘Sorry, Tom. I was a little busy in the office.’ Thomas just nodded and lit another cigar, offering one to Michael. He accepted the cigar and let his cousin lit it. ‘So, what did you call me for?’ He asked and Thomas looked up at him, ready to speak. ‘You remember the Sloggers? There is a deal that has to be made and I want you to go to the meeting.’ Michael arched an eyebrow at this, ‘Why me? You know I have to finish the papers until tomorrow morning, isn’t there anybody you can send? John, maybe?’

‘I’m the one who gave you that papers, Michael. You can give them to John, he can manage it. I need you to go to that meeting because I trust you, I know that you are the one who can make it properly. They want to make another business with us and I want it, too. Here are the contracts, just read their’s before signing them, is it clear?’ He watched his cousin carefully, waiting for his response. ‘’s okay, I’ll go there. Give me the address and tell the time.’ A little smile covered Thomas’ lips and Michael thought he imagined it. ‘Gaucha restaurant, 6 p.m.’

‘I’m gonna have dinner with men?’ He asked but he didn’t answer him, ‘Okay, then. I’ll continue to paperwork and handle it to John before I leave.’ He said and took the new contracts placed on the Thomas’ desk. He walked to the door and heard his cousin’s words, ‘Leave now, Michael. And dress fancy!’ Michael could swear that he heard the joy in his voice. He left the room with a confused look on his face, what was that? Tommy on the other side was sitting in his leather swivel chair with a real smile on his face, knowing that Michael would be shocked when he goes to the meeting.

***

‘The car is here, y/n!’ Your friend shouted as you hurried down the stairs. ‘Well, it can wait for five minutes, right?’ She rolled her eyes as you grinned, fixing your skirt. ‘Have fun this time, for god’s sake!’ She shouted happily, making you laugh. ‘With an old guy? They always send me to make business with old men and I have no fun, believe me.’ You made a sad face and she embraced you in a hug to lighten up your mood. ‘What if he is young? Be optimistic!’ She spoke excitedly and you smiled a little, ‘Remember, my last boyfriend broke up with me because he thought I was a pessimist person.’ You said and both of you laughed at that, ‘Pessimist, huh? And did he really think that he was an optimist? Optimist my ass.’ She said and you laughed even more.

‘Whatever, I’d better go now. See you in the office tomorrow morning.’ You opened the door and left her in your house alone. She was going to leave after she eats dinner, she had the keys so you didn’t mind. The car was waiting for you, the driver kept the door open for you. ‘Evening, Miss Black.’ You nodded in response and sat, watching the road until you arrived at the restaurant. It was an elegant one, after all, you were the one who chose it. ‘Welcome, Miss Black. We’re so happy that you are here.’ The manager spoke and a man came to you, ‘Let me show you your table, Miss.’ He said and you followed him.

You sat when the man pulled the chair for you and you thanked him. ‘Would you like anything to drink?’ He asked as you placed your briefcase on the table. ‘A glass of rose would be great.’ You said, he nodded and went to bring it. You sat there, waiting for the businessman to show up. You were wearing the navy blue velvet jacket, it was matching with your skirt. It was one of your favourite suits for business. You knew it made you look sharp and unstoppable, impressing the men with your irresistible look.

***

Michael checked his reflection on the mirror for the last time, he was sure that he looked good. Nobody was at home so he made his way to the car whilst humming a song. He drove carefully to the restaurant and was impressed when he went in. It was lux and chic, the ambience was pleasant and the soft piano tunes made it even better. Michael made his way to where the tables were and a man who looked like a manager stopped him, ‘Mr Gray, right?’ He nodded in agreement and waited for him to show the table. The man gestured him the table and he walked confidently.

He was shocked when he found a young woman waiting for him, ‘Good evening, miss. Are you a friend of the man from the Sloggers? I was unaware of I should bring a lady with me.’ He said, studying your beautiful face with that eyes of him. He was charmed by how you looked, the blue velvet suit revealing your curves and taking his breath away. Then he looked back to your face and saw the stern look on it. ‘I’m sorry for disappointing you, Mr Gray. I’m the Sloggers’ man.’

Michael was shocked but he was also embarrassed because of his bad behaviour. ‘I didn’t mean to say what you understood, please forgive me. I just didn’t think that..’ He stayed in silence and you waited for him to continue, ‘What you didn’t think, Mr Gray?’ You pushed him to talk. ‘I didn’t think that a gorgeous woman like you would work for men like that.’ He spoke slowly and waited for your response. ‘Men like what? You think what I do is unladylike? Not all women have rich husbands to look after them, Mr Gray. Some of us have to work.’ You spoke, eyeing him carefully

‘I know what you mean, my mother is a successful businesswoman just like you. You’re just... too beautiful for that.’ He blushed lightly and you couldn’t help but smile. ‘Well, they say the devils wear the prettiest faces, right? Anyway, I’ll take that as a compliment.’ You said as you sipped your wine. ‘You should.’ He muttered under his breath and you scanned his body again. You remembered the scene when he took of his coat affectionally, looking directly at your eyes while he has a tempting smile on his face and you sighed. He turned his eyes to you and smirked, ‘Shall we order our meals?’ You nodded and he called the waiter.

‘Well, I do believe that we can make this deal.’ Michael said and took out the papers he brought with him. You also handed him the contracts and took out your pen, started to read the papers he gave to you. ‘The terms are just like Thomas Shelby said in our meeting.’ He replied without turning his eyes to you, ‘So you met with him? I wonder why he didn’t come this time.’ You smiled a little, ‘I probably shouldn’t tell you that but in our meeting, he said that he had someone in his head for this meeting. Someone I’ll like more.’ He arched an eyebrow but didn’t want to overreact. He shrugged as his smile widened, ‘Let me ask you this, was he right?’

‘I believe he was, at least you are so much younger than the other men I make business with. It’s always good to see someone like you.’ You blushed a little and he laughed, ‘I take this as a compliment, Miss. But I still don’t know your name.’ Your orders came and you took another sip from your wine before talking, ‘y/n Black.’ He warmly took the information, ‘I’m glad that I’m here with you, Miss Black.’ His voice was soft yet masculine enough to make your knees weak. ‘You can call me y/n.’

Then you started to eat and talked about your lives, ignoring the paperwork for the rest of the night. You chatted and loved his passion, he made you laugh for countless times and you told him about your life. The countries you’ve been to and the things you’ve experienced. It has been already two hours when you finished your food, you were both smiling. ‘It’s time to go back to our papers, I think.’ You said and he looked at the clock, his eyes widened. ‘I can’t believe the time passed quickly. It’s like we just arrived here.’ You nodded in agreement and started to sign the papers. ‘So, that’s all.’ You gave them back to him, he handed your papers back to you.

‘I left a copy for you.’ You said and he leaned forward to take it from you and then, your hands brushed. The eye contact made it even more irresistible and you were the one who glanced away. You said that your company will pay for the meals and he nodded, you two went outside. ‘Is that all?’ Michael asked as he eyed you again like he was trying to burn how you look in his memory. ‘What do you mean?’ You asked, looking him in the eyes. ‘Is this the last time I see you or will I ever get a chance to see you again?’

Your breath hitched as you heard him, you smiled sincerely but he was biting his bottom lip, looking nervous as hell. ‘Then why don’t you ask me for a proper date, Mr Gray?’ His eyes brightened up with your words, the stress disappeared. ‘Michael, please. How can I reach you?’ You thought for a second, ‘I’ll call your office, is that okay for you?’ He nodded, ‘Good night then, y/n.’ He took a step closer to you, making your heart shook. ‘Good night, Michael.’ You said quietly as you pressed a small kiss to his right cheek. He melted into the feeling of your soft lips on his skin and breathed a sigh of relief.

You turned your back to him and walked to the car which was waiting for you, your heart beating fast in your ribcage. Michael stood there until your car was out of his sight. He was mesmerized by you, for real. At first, he thought you were just a beautiful girl but when he started to get to know you he impressed in a different way. He understood you weren’t a simple girl he always hung out with, you were so different from those girls. He smiled to himself and lit a cigar as he started the car.

When he arrived home, he found Tommy sitting on a chair and drinking whiskey. His previous behaviour all made sense for Michael this time, he knew Tommy set this meeting for him. ‘Tell me, how was it?’ He asked when he saw Michael. Michael sent a smirk at his way, ‘Perfect. Thank you, Tom. Really.’ Thomas lit a cigarette, inhaling a heavy breath. ‘So you liked her?’ He already knew the answer but it didn’t restrain him from asking. ‘How can I don’t like her? She is just... I don’t know how to describe her but she is different, in a good way.’

‘She is a good one, Michael. I hope she will treat you how you deserved to be treated.’ Michael nodded and thanked again, then he excused himself to go to his room. Thomas sat there for a while, proud of what he had done. Maybe he didn’t show it as it should be but he cared about every single one of them. And he knew that she was the right one for Michael like Grace was for him. Oh, he loved Grace. He really did. He wished for the things end up well for Michael and y/n.

***

You dialled the number as you let out a breath, you’ve never felt this nervous in your life. Then someone picked the phone, ‘Hello?’ A woman spoke and your heart stopped, who was she? ‘I want to speak with Mr Gray, is he there?’ You said a little angrily and she stayed silent. ‘Michael, come here! There’s a lady calling for ya!’ She shouted and you heard the footsteps. ‘Thanks, Ada.’ He said as he picked the phone and you relaxed, knowing she was his cousin. ‘Hello?’ He said, his husky voice making you want to scream and smile at the same time. ‘Hi there.’

‘Oh, hey. I was waiting for you.’ He said and you were sure that he was smiling from his voice. ‘It’s been only two days and I finally found the number.’ You uttered as you smiled. ‘It looked too long to me, love. You’re still here, in Birmingham?’ He asked, wishing that the answer is yes. ‘Actually, I’ll be here for a while, if you wonder.’ There was a short silence on the line, you heard his breaths and then he spoke. ‘I’ll pick you at two, is it okay?’ He asked slowly, dying for your answer. ‘How should I dress?’ You asked in response. ‘Well, I’m pretty sure that you’ll be beautiful with anything so wear comfy. You’re blushing now, ain't ya?’ You chuckled lightly, he was right. ‘Maybe? Here’s my address...’ You gave him the address and closed the phone.

Michael smiled to himself as you hung up. He couldn't help but smile because your soft voice was so cute, the cutest he's ever heard. He was in the office but Polly immediately saw him. ‘What makes you chuckle like a teenager in love, Michael?’ She asked and his son blushed a little, ‘Nothin-’ Tommy cut him off, ‘You should ask who instead of what, I suggest.’ A small smile played on his lips and Polly seemed to be shocked. ‘Jesus! Who is she?’ She asked curiously, ‘When will I meet her?’ Michael’s beautiful eyes widened, ‘Take it easy, mom. We haven’t gone on a date yet.’ Tommy lit a cigar, ‘Where are you gonna take her?’ Michael frowned, ‘I’m thinking of somewhere special.’

Polly could swear that her son was head over heels for that girl. She hadn’t seen him like that since she knew him and she didn’t get mad -for now- because she felt that the girl would make him happy. She smiled calmly as she saw Michael telling something to Tommy excitedly about the date he’s thinking of. Finally, the good days for the family were close, at least for one of them...

[hazel3017]

I promised you guys an essay on the dark ages that was the Mike Johnston era, and here it is. By the way, this is gonna be long and longwinded, but bear with me people. This is all connected. You have been warned.

In 2013, Sidney Crosby was on a ridiculous tear where he scored 56 points in 36 games for a truly stupid 1.56 points per game. It was a shortened season, true, but no one was even close to touching him. If he’d played the full 48 games, he’d have 75 points. Martin St. Louis won the Art Ross with 60. Anyway, what happened instead was the broken jaw, courtesy of a Brooks Orpik slap shot, and Sid didn’t play for the rest of the season (he missed 12 games) which is probably why he didn’t win the Hart (he was nominated, but it went to Ovechkin).

The broken jaw also meant that the Penguins, in their infinite wisdom, allowed Sid to be interviewed while he was CLEARLY high on painkillers.

Sid returned to the ice (wearing a protective cage) in time for the second game of the playoffs (vs NYI) and picked up right where he left off. He had nine points in five games against the Islanders, and 6 points in five games against Ottawa. It was all rainbows and sunshine until the Penguins reached the ECF against Boston and the offence just dried up. Sid didn’t have a single point in that series, and ultimately the Pens only put up a collective 2 goals and were swept in 4 games. It was brutal. Especially for Flower, who really took a lot of flack. He’d been gaining a bit of a reputation as a bad playoff goalie, and the 2013 playoffs didn’t help. It was after this that Flower started seeing a sports psychologist.

For context, since they won the Cup in 2009, the Penguins had only won 3 playoff series before reaching the Eastern Conference final in 2013. Three. Think about that. They didn’t even make it past the first round in 2011 and 2012. 2013 was supposed to be different. They were the top seed in the East, and their offence was on fire through the first two rounds. And then they just crashed and burned. It was the 4th year in a row where they were eliminated by a lower-seeded team. Things were dire. And just to emphasis how truly sucky this time was for Sid, people thought he’d already played his best hockey. They thought the concussion and neck injury that kept him out for almost two seasons meant he wouldn’t ever be able to dominate the way he had before.

(Speaking of the concussion: he missed 41 games in 2010-2011, and 60 games in 2011-2012. Dire, dire times. He’s admitted he thought he might never play again. Also, at some point during this time, Sid and Geno went to a Lady Gaga concert together. Never forget.)

The 2013-2014 season comes around, and Sid is back to being on fire. Because it’s not a Penguins team unless everyone and their mother is out with an injury, Sid had a revolving door of line mates but would still finish the season with 104 points in 80 games for 1.30 PPG. Because he is stupid like that.

One of the injuries, by the way, was Pascal Dupuis in December 2013. The Pens were playing in Ottawa when Marc Methot hip-checked Sid, and Sid went flying into Duper, who almost got Sid’s skate to his face, and also tore his ACL. Duper needed surgery to repair the ACL damage, and while he was recovering, he started developing blood clots and serious health issues related to that, which he would never really recover from. He tried to play while on blood-thinners for a while, but ultimately had to call it a night in the 2015-2016 season. I bring this up because it will play a role in the timeline later.

So, mid 2013-2014 season; Sid is the engine that keeps the Penguins going, the NHL takes a break in February for the 2014 Sochi Olympics and we get the NHL Revealed series, which is actually pretty cool (there is a scene from Geno’s house and you can see his fridge where he has decals of himself and Sid, Tanger and Flower. It is adorable. Also there is Geno whining to Sid about Sid not warning him about their flight being delayed because then he would have just waited at home). Chris Kunitz is also an Olympian, and everyone at the time was pretty much in agreement that the only reason he was there was because of how well he played with Sid, and then they didn’t play well together at all. And everyone was up in arms about how Sid wasn’t scoring enough, but Canada still won gold (both Sid and Kuni scored in the gold-medal game) and Russia did not, and so Geno was sad and grumpy for about a month. Then Sid wasn’t having it anymore and talked to Geno because he obviously needed a friend, and Geno was no longer sad and grumpy.

Fast forward a little bit, and we reach the playoffs. The Pens played against Columbus, and it was super weird because almost every game ended 4-3 and no one could keep a 3-1 lead. Also, Sid wasn’t scoring. Again. It was a thing. He was still putting up points, and he averaged 1 PPG against Columbus, but people would not shut about how he hadn’t scored a playoff goal in 13 games dating back to 2013. He kept insisting that he was healthy too, but he actually had a busted wrist, which was the result of a Ryan Reaves hit where he got his wrist caught awkwardly against the board in a game in late March. The injury meant he had trouble putting any power behind his shots, which meant no goals, although he was still dominating possession. Add to that the abuse he took from the likes of Dubinsky and Marc Staal (and also Lundqvist squirting water at him lol!) it was a pretty miserable playoffs for him.

All of this is made worse by his deteriorating relationship with Coach Dan Bylsma. Now, I know I have read this somewhere, and I can’t for the life of me remember where, but there was a rumour—a rumour, mind you—that Bylsma had specifically instructed the players not to stick up for Sid when the other team’s players were abusing him. Apparently, Bylsma threatened with benching people if they got into scrums after the whistles. (RUMOUR, remember. Take it with a grain of salt). But Bylsma and Sid obviously weren’t getting along that great during the Rangers series, at least, and it didn’t help that Bylsma kept playing his favourites, aka Craig Adams and the gang. Jesus. As I recall, Kuni and Geno were pretty much the only ones sticking up for Sid, especially Kuni who was playing on his line. The Rangers series did give us this gem of an interview though.

Game 7 comes along, and the Penguins lose. They’d been up 3 games to 1 at one point, and again they were the higher-seeded team. Shortly after, reports about Bylsma losing the room started popping up and it was pretty obvious that there would be a new management. Sure enough, Shero was fired first, and then Bylsma later.

(Bylsma was actually fired by Jim Rutherford. Ownership said they wanted the new GM to decide if he wanted to keep Bylsma around or not. It was pretty obvious that Bylsma would have to go too, and a lot of people were upset that they kept Bylsma so long when that could potentially keep him from getting a job elsewhere.)

And now, finally, we enter the dark ages. Or, in which GMJR did the one mistake he needed to make in order to find the one true Penguins coach: Mike Sullivan.

Mike Johnston. What is there to say about Mike Johnston? He had pretty much only one facial expression in that he looked perpetually shocked, he snuffed out the offence of a team that has always been built for scoring goals and made them play boring, sluggish, defensive hockey instead. It very nearly broke Sidney Crosby. That is not to say that it was all MJ’s fault, but he was very clearly unsuitable for the Pens and vice versa.

Consider this: In 2012-2013, Sid went from a 1.56 PPG to 1.30 in 2013-2014. A pretty steep dive, but still dominating his peers (Ryan Getzlaf was the closest to him in points that year. He had 87 points. Sid had 104.). From 2013-2014 to 2014-2015, Sid’s PPG dipped again, even more this time as it reached an all-time low of 1.09. He’d never been below 1.26 before. Not so incidentally, the Pens went from 242 goals total to 217, and their winning percentage dipped from .665 to .598, the lowest it had been since the 2005-2006 season. This all coincided with Mike Johnston becoming coach. The Penguins just barely edged their way into the playoffs that season. They made it with literally the last game of the season, against Buffalo.

(No offence to Buffalo, but they were ranked dead last that season.)

The Pens lost the first round of the playoffs against the Rangers. They only managed one win in 5 games. Sid played okay, he had 4 points on the series, but the Pens were so sloooow. They kept being outskated by guys like Zuccarello and Hagelin—no wonder, with guys like Craig Adams and Rob Scuderi slowing the Penguins down.

(Also, would you believe I used to strongly dislike Carl Hagelin?)

Sid didn’t stick around for the fallout. He called the GM of Team Canada the same night they were eliminated and jumped on a plane to Prague. I actually think the World Championship did him a ton of good. He won another gold medal in the Olympics the year before, but I really think it must have messed him up going so long without playoff success. No one expects more from Sidney Crosby than Sidney Crosby.

Anyway: Worlds.

I’m pretty sure that what happens at Worlds stays at Worlds, but Sid seemed to have a really good time with his x1000 boyfriends. Like, there was Giroux (what????), Seguin (we don’t kiss and tell), MacKinnon (of course), and even Brayden Schenn (lmao).

Also, there was Geno and the pictures that launched a thousand plot bunnies. Because you can’t have one without the other.

Sid won gold and was happy, he became the 26th member of the Triple Gold Club and was happy, and he came home from Europe and promptly entered an existential crisis, I’m pretty sure. He turned 28 that year and freaked out about it. Probably, he realised how sucky the last few years had been for him. He grew a beard. It was very disturbing for everyone involved. He also went to all the weddings, hosted his first annual hockey school, and filmed the documentary that would win him an Emmy award as the “talent”. That is an actual thing that happened, people.

And then the new season began. And here, my friends, we must circle back to Pascal Dupuis.

So because of the blood clots Duper developed after his ACL injury, he had to sit out the rest of the 2013-2014 season. He was cleared for the start of 2014-2015, but again was out for the rest of the season when they discovered blood clots in his lungs in November 2014 and he had to go on blood thinners. The next season, he was cleared again, but was still on blood thinners to manage the blood clots. He was being monitored by medical professionals at the time, and it was a procedure that had worked for other athletes, but Duper experienced side effects like serious chest pains. In the end, he was forced to call it quits. This was in December 2015.

Up until that point, from the start of the season, Sid had 18 points by then. He was 86 in in scoring. 86. Comparatively, he had 29 points by the same time next year. In 5 fewer games. No one knew what was going on. Sid didn’t know what was going on, but there’s probably a few things that explain his low offence. If you believed the media at the time, he was washed up. They were literally writing up the obituary of his career. Sports Illustrated posited that he would be a 4th-line centre at the World Cup. People were wondering if he would even make the team. The Team Canada GM had to publicly state that Sid would be on the roster.

So what actually did cause the notorious slump? Like I said, a combination of things.

First, MJ’s system meant that Sid had to play a 200-feet game. “But he does that now!” you say, and true, he is defensively responsible, and the NHL is gonna have to start thinking about giving him Selke consideration sooner than later, but he’s always thinking offence first, and his line’s puck possession means he’s spending more time in the offensive zone than defensive zone. They only had a 52.2% defensive exit rate under MJ during that December. Under Sully, it was at 73.1%. Consequently, MJ’s defence first mentality meant that Sid had to constantly haul ass from one end of the rink to the other; he was overexerting himself. 

Second, he had bad puck luck. No, really. The puck just wouldn’t go in the net for him, and he had one goal on 30 shots at one point. That’s a 3.3 shooting percentage. Around 9% is League average, I believe.

Third, the power play was a mess. MJ had no clue how to configure it, even with the kind of fire power the Penguins’ boast. They just couldn’t make it work, which meant that Sid was missing out on the points he usually get from the power play.

And finally, there was Duper. Now, this is my personal opinion, but I honestly think Duper’s situation really messed him up. I think he spent so much time and energy worrying about Duper being okay that if affected him on the ice. When Duper was forced to retire, Sid was heartbroken. Consider this extract from Duper’s Why We Play the Game article:

One leg was twice the size of the other. It was a few hours before the game. We were in Edmonton last November. I was warming up in the hallway, doing some band work, some quick-feet stuff. At some point I looked down and saw that my right leg was really swollen.

When you are dealing with blood clots, this is the moment you always fear. Your body is betraying you. You can’t deny it. You can’t fight through it.

I took my equipment off and put on a tracksuit to go to the hospital to get checked out. As I was walking out of the locker room with the doctor, one of my teammates gave me a hug and just broke down in tears.

“Not again, Duper. Are you kidding me? Again?”

That’s the moment I realized that I needed to draw the line. People weren’t just worried about me playing hockey. They were worried about me playing with my life.

I believe that teammate was Sid, and I feel as if Duper confirmed that, but I can’t remember where I saw/heard it.

Once Duper was out for good, Sid noticeably started playing better. He had 9 points the rest of December alone. Also, on 12 December, GMJR fired Mike Johnston and hired Mike Sullivan. Hilariously, Sid was accused of being a coach killer, and the reporter outright questioned the legitimacy of hiring Sully was MJ’s replacement in the same article.

JOKE’S ON YOU BRETT CYRGALIS.

The rest, as you say, is history. The Penguins finally found a coach who can wrangle Sid and Geno and Phil, and GMJR isn’t having any of your shit anymore NHL, so he went out and got Ryan Reaves to protect his star players from being abused. Which will probably be either really awesome or really awful. Time will tell.